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Lady Luck
Lady Luck is the owner of this contest. She has curly red-pink hair that always keep one eye hidden, and she is wearing a cape. She and the other contestants describe her as evil, heartless, and cruel. * Lady Luck says she has absolute power, which makes sense since you never win, she offers to grant you ANY wish you want, and well... she turned you into a giant dice. * She has been running this contest show for hundred of years already. * She occasionally says how the witch is her favorite. * She will spin the wheel after unlocking the jester, once Baby Squid loses the job. Spoilers! She is the final boss of the game, and after beating her she appears more nice and loving, letting everyone free, but believing they won't go as they already had settled here. She celebrates her defeat, excited, giving confetti to the dice and taking pictures with them. After beating the Back Stage chapter, she will be nicer when introducing you at the start of the run. Episode Introductions: Early Episodes Warrior Only *Welcome back, my favourite little fighter! Are you feeling optimistic? Imagining the deep burr of that monster truck as you speed over the rubble? *Let's give a big hand for the Warrior, who's looking great! (sly)I guess there's always time to work out when you're trapped in an endless dungeon. *Let's welcome back the Warrior, who's never gonna win that monster truck if he doesn't work harder. (sly)Also, he'll never win that monster truck anyway. *Let's welcome the Warrior back to Dicey Dungeons! (sly)Some people just don't know when to give up. *Ah, it's the Warrior, my lovable buffoon! Let's give him a round of applause! *(sly)Let's give a big hand for the Warrior, my favourite contestant of all! Thief Only *It's the Thief, back for the latest episode of... Dicey Dungeons! Will he fulfill his dream of becoming unimaginably rich? Probably not, but anything's possible! *Let's welcome back my darling little Thief! (sly)Time to STEAL yourself for another turn in the dungeons... *Let's give a big hand for my favourite crafty Thief! Robot Only * Let's give a big mechanical hand for the Robot, everyone's favourite contestant! * Let's welcome our Robot buddy back to the floor! (sly)Hey, Robot: I'd like to see you optimise this... * Gimme a ZERO! Gimme a ONE! What does it spell? (sly)Robot Fun! * Gimme a ONE! Gimme a ZERO! What does it spell? (sly)Robot Hero! Inventor Only *Let's welcome back the Inventor, my friend, my favourite! What will she get up to this time? *Let's give a big hand for the ingenious Inventor, who sometimes manages to surprise even me! *Let's welcome back my profligate inventor, so easily distracted. (sly)But will she also be... easily destructed? Witch Only *Put your hands together for the Witch! Time for another magical adventure! *Let's welcome back my wonderful Witch! (sly)What spell will she cast on us today? *Let's welcome back my favourite enchanting adventurer, and the only contestant I follow on social media - it's the Witch! Jester Only *(Confused)No applause, please. Silence in the hall. There will be no cheering for traitors. *(Confused)Hey everyone! Let's all welcome back the Jester with a long, silent stare! *(Confused)Well it's time to welcome the Jester, who has sacrificed a high-ranking position in my dungeons for an extremely doomed escape attempt! Fine, I guess! Any Character Except Jester *Welcome back to Dicey Dungeons, the game show|where you're a giant dice, for some reason (angry)And the reason is: because I said so! *(sly)Let's take a moment to say thank you to our generous sponsor, endless misery! *Welcome back to Dicey Dungeons, where you risk it all to win your heart's desire! *Time for another round of Dicey Dungeons, where the fun never stops. (sly)Just like our contestants, who are trapped here for ever! *Time for another episode of Dicey Dungeons! (sly)It's the only game show where contestants can win, or lose, literally anything! *Welcome back to the longest-running game show on Earth, predating humanity by... (thinking)...I mean, I don't know how long, we didn't have calendars back then. (normal)A while! *Welcome back to Dicey Dungeons! (sly)Let the good times roll! *Time to get moving - a rolling dice gathers no moss! *It's time to rock and roll! (thinking)Mostly roll, to be honest, unless our contestant meets the Bully. *Let's welcome our latest contestant back to Dicey Dungeons! (thinking)Tell me, do you remember sunlight? (sly)Then you're not trying hard enough! *Welcome to Dicey Dungeons, where our contestants will either win their heart's desire... (sly)...or end up trapped for ever as my minions! (normal)Which realistically speaking is much more likely. *Let's welcome back our latest contestant for another round! (sly)Once bitten, dice shy! *Welcome back to Dicey Dungeons, where our contestants' wildest dreams just might come true! (thinking)Have you paid attention to dreams lately, by the way? (normal)I don't dream myself, but I'm told they're terrible. *(sly)Hey there, welcome back to Dicey Dungeons, where victory is theoretically possible! *It's time for another episode of Dicey Dungeons, where contestants risk it all in a doomed attempt to fulfil their pitiful desires! *Hey again everyone, and welcome back to Dicey Dungeons! (sly)As we say here: there's only so long you can keep trying when you're clearly bound to fail. *Time for another round - or maybe I should say, another CUBE! (sly)Another! (sly)CUBE! *Let's welcome our old friend back to the dungeons! (thinking)Wait, not friend, the other thing. (sly)Let's welcome our hapless prisoner back to the dungeons! *Let's give a big hand to our latest contestant. (sly)It's great to see you back, now and for ever! Episode Introductions: Later Episodes Warrior Only *And now, entering battle again - the Warrior! Who somehow is still trying! *Let's give a thunderous round of applause for the Warrior! (sly)After all, he used to love thunder, and he's never gonna hear it again! Thief Only *Welcome back, my little would-be winner! Planning how to spend all that money? Private island, fancy yacht, new friends to tell you that you're definitely as clever as you think? *Let's all give a cheer for the Thief, who's playing to win wealth and... also more wealth? (thinking)That's a little unimaginative, but never mind. (thinking)You know you can wish for whatever you like, right? *Let's give a big hand to the Thief, who is so strangely proud of being clever and unpleasant! Do you think he minds that I'm so much cleverer, and so many times more unpleasant? *Time to welcome our Thief back to the dungeons! I'm getting a bit sick of his sad little face. Come on, give an extra-huge cheer if you're getting sick of it as well! Robot Only *Let's welcome back the Robot, whose dream is to live without sleep! C'mon, burn your beds and replace them with whiteboards, be the best you can be! * Gimme a ZERO! Gimme a ONE! What does it spell? (Sly)Encroaching doom and endless regret! * (sly)Hey, do you all remember the Robot? (normal)Let's get hyped for its inevitable failure! *Let's welcome back the Robot, who wants a life without sleep! I'm sure that extra eight hours a day wouldn't just get filled with more doubts and desperate attempts at self-improvement. Inventor Only *Let's welcome back the Inventor, who wants to understand everything! *Three cheers to my darling Inventor! (sly)Come on, Inventor! Destroy the rust! Reimagine the world while you still can! *It's time for another episode of hijinks with the Inventor! Tell me, Inventor: if you understood everything, like you want, would you have realised that entering the Dungeons was a bad idea? *Let's give a warm hand for our Inventor, who just might be starting to run out of steam! (sly)Would you like a suggestion, Inventor? Here it is: maybe give up. *And now, the moment we've all been waiting for: the Inventor's upcoming demise! *Let's welcome back the Inventor, and remind her that the sun still shines above her. (sly)Even if she'll never see it again. Witch Only *Let's give a big hand for our wily Witch! She's playing to win fame and fortune - no, wait, sorry, no fortune. Just the fame! Great choice! *(Sly)Remember the Witch? (normal)Well, she's back, for some reason! *Welcome back to the stage my favourite perennial failure, the Witch! *Give a big cheer for the Witch, my favourite little braggart! Did you know her account is up to ten thousand followers? (sly)Well, it was until I had it deleted. *It's time for another episode with our determined little Witch! She's working very hard to defeat the Dungeons and find fame. (sly)It's definitely possible that it'll all pay off. Jester Only *(Sly)Let's give a loud, slow clap for the Jester, who is going to be *so* filled with regret. *Oh look, it's the Jester! (sly)Hey there, Jester buddy. (sly)This isn't going to go well for you. *(Sly)It's time to welcome back a treacherous wretch of a Jester! Join me in quietly watching their rapid and inevitable failure. *Join us for another round of fun and failure with the Jester! (confused)As long-time viewers may recall, the Jester wasn't always a hideous blight on all that is good and true. But times change! *(Confused)Let's silently welcome back the Jester. (thinking)I wonder how it feels for them to fight the brave dungeon creatures who for so long were their friends and allies? *Ah, it's the Jester, ready to play again! And again. And again. (angry)There will be no end to this, Jester, not for you. *(Confused)Let's give a big round of disappointed sighs for the Jester! *Welcome back to Dicey Dungeons! (sly)And here's today's contestant, who I guess we've met before, but who even knows. (sly)Such an unmemorable little face, such horrible grabby hands. *Let's welcome back to the Dicey Dungeons stage... (confused)oh, it's you. (confused)Go fight some monsters, you grotesque dice-worm. *I remember when the Jester entered the Dungeons, a long long time ago. (thinking)I should have sensed then this moment of betrayal. (angry)Still, I'll make up with vindictive fury what I lacked in foresight! Any Character Except Jester *Thanks for joining me for another round of Dicey Dungeons! (sly)Tonight, let's give a big round of cruelly mocking laughter for our miserable contestant! *Tonight, on Dicey Dungeons: we join together to watch an inevitable failure! *Welcome back to Dicey Dungeons! (sly)Remember, if you'd like to be on the show, just write to us here at the Dungeons. Don't forget to whisper your most secret hope into the envelope! Episode Introductions: Post-Endgame Warrior Only *Let's all give a big cheer for the Warrior, who just can't get enough battling! *Time to see if the Warrior's new gym schedule has paid off as he squares off against familiar faces in the Dungeon! Robot Only *Stamp your feet and wave your hands for the Robot, here to roll through the Dungeons one more time! *The Robot returns! Let's hope it can beep and boop its way through the Dungeons as beautifully as last time! Inventor Only *Time to welcome back to the stage our intrepid Inventor! (sly)Now, my dear, don't let me catch you sneaking around trying to look at the lighting panel again... *Let's give a huge round of applause for the Inventor! It's lovely to see you again and... (sly)WAIT! Is that the wiring from the cafeteria? Witch Only *Let's conjure up some applause for the Witch. She's taken a break from her busy schedule and is ready to show off the spellcasting that made her famous! *As if by magic, the Witch is back for more subterranean chicanery! (sly)Wonderful to have you back in the Dungeons, my dear! Jester Only *Let's give a big hand for our old friend the Jester! (thinking)Jess, love, do you remember where you left the keys to the filing cabinet in the back office? *Let's give the Jester a very warm welcome as they return to their old haunts! It's so nice to see you come and hang out with your old friends so often! Any Character *Please welcome our returning champion to the Dungeons! It's just like old times... *Welcome back! It's SO good to see you! How's the world outside? We're simply DELIGHTED to have you back to catch up with, and also viciously fight, your old minion buddies! *It's time for another ALL STARS ROUND of Dicey Dungeons, with one of the only champions we've ever had... *Let's put our hands together for a familiar face, as one of our favourite little dice re-enters the Dungeons! *Okay everyone, on your feet and give a big cheer - it's Dungeon time again for one of our favourite little fighters! *This time it's a competitor who escaped once, but couldn't resist the lure of the Dungeons for long! Let's give it up for the return of one of our reigning champions! *A champion returns! But are you fighting fit or battle weary? Time to find out as you revisit Diceyyyyy Dungeonssss! *Don't change the channel! This is not a rerun! Our champ really has come back for another trip through the Dungeons! *Let's welcome back a PREVIOUS WINNER to the Dungeons! We all know how rare it is for anyone to make it through the Dungeons, so let's give our friend an EXTRA BIG hand! Back Stage Episode Post-Endgame *Welcome back to Dicey Dungeons! Today we'll be watching a rerun of an old fan favourite... ...the one where the dice buddies got together with all the minions, and worked together to beat me! I'm so proud I think I might be crying! Episode Win Text: Normal Episodes Jester Only *Ah, my little traitorous Jester returns. Sure, let's go pretend this spin means something. And here we go... (Wheel spins) Another loss. *You again! Let me give this big wheel a spin while I gaze at you with bottomless malevolence, and you drop your eyes in shame! (Wheel spins) Fancy that! You lose! *You know what? I think I'm going to let the wheel spin fairly this time, just so that I can feel your agony more keenly when you lose. (Wheel spins) Which you did. Well, WHAT a shame. *Having fun here, my dear? Fighting your long-term friends and colleagues? In a game that you know you'll never win? (Wheel spins) And you didn't! *It's theoretically possible, of course, that this wheel is going to spin you up a prize and a path out of the dungeon. So let's spin it! I'm going to enjoy watching your face as you lose. (Wheel spins) Yeah go on, try to hide your despair... *Jester! Aren't you doing well! Of course, you've had SO much practice fighting in these dungeons. If you didn't do well you'd be even MORE of a disappointment than you already are. Wanna chant a little bit before we spin? SPIN THE WHEEL, remember? SPIN THE WHEEL! SPIN THE WHEEL! (Wheel spins) Bad luck, there, buddy. Maybe you should have chanted harder. *Back for another spin? Of course! Let's see if you win! Literally anything is possible, and it's not like anybody involved here has absolute power over fate and fortune! (Wheel spins) Oh wait, no, I absolutely do. Isn't that nice! Any Character But Jester *Ah look, you've won yet another episode. Congratulations! (Wheel spins) But, oh no! how unexpected! I've spun the wheel and it doesn't look like you're taking home a prize this time... *You know, NONE of you contestants have won your heart's desire yet. What a baffling stretch of bad luck! Anyway, it's time for one more unlucky spin of the wheel... (Wheel spins) Oooof, how unfortunate! Probably next time though, right? Right! *You must think you've been doing SO well at all this fighting. So sure, stick with it! Let's spin the wheel yet again! (Wheel spins) Ah, how tragic. You lose again. *Well, I've got to give you one thing: you're persistent. Still thinking about your heart's desire? Focused on that win? Then let's set the wheel spinning! (Wheel spins) And now let's STOP the wheel on, look at that, another unfortunate loss... *Ah look, here we are at the wheel again! Let's give it a spin and see... ...whether this time, THIS time, you might win your heart's desire. (Wheel spins) Nope! Oh well, I'm sure things will look up for you eventually. *Such a persistent little dice friend! Sure, let's give the wheel a spin, why not! (Wheel spins) No amazing prize this time, I'm afraid. Bad luck. Maybe it's time to just give up for ever? *Here to give it another whirl? Yeah, absolutely! This could DEFINITELY be the time that you win your heart's desire! (Wheel spins) Oooh, look at that! What are the chances? *Honestly, what would you even DO with your heart's desire, if you won it? No, no, sorry, silly question, let's just get on with the wheel... (Wheel spins) Anyway it looks like you don't need to make any big decisions about what you would do. At least not just yet. Maybe next time! Episode Win Text: Post-Endgame Any Character *You win! Of course, we don't spin the wheel any more. But feel free to spin around on the spot if you'd like. *Congratulations! You know, are you ABSOLUTELY SURE you don't want to be a minion? I mean, you DO seem to like it here... No? All right, then! *Another triumph! Sometimes I wonder if I made it too easy for you... *Magnificent! Shall we spin the wheel just this once, for old time's sake? (Wheel spins) What was it we used to say? Ah yes! 'Bad luck there - but maybe next episode!'. Ah, good times! *A beautiful battle right at the end there - you always were one of the most elegant fighters in your little group! Three cheers and hip hip hooray! *Oh, well done! Another victory! Now tell me, how's everything in the outside world? How's work? What's the weather like? Are we ever going to hear the pitter patter of tiny dice? *Ah, lovely, a couple of wonderful close calls in there, my dear. I'll admit I was lying when I said you were my favourite... ...but you're at least my SECOND favourite. *Congratulations! Another win! Now, do send my best wishes to the rest of the group... ...and tell them that we're always here if they want to come back to fight! Or, y'know, just to pick up a couple of shifts as minions if they need some extra cash... *Well done! And can I just say: it's so nice to see you and the minions hanging out like this. Maybe one day we should have a big reunion picnic, get all you dice down here at once. I promise I won't trap you for eternity again... *Amazing! VERY clever work, there! Perhaps you could come in and give a guest lecture to the younger minions some time? *SUCH a delight of a fight! I'll always keep your room ready for you, you know. And by 'room' I mean 'six-floor fighting dungeon'. *Ah, I'm beaming with pride again! I really feel like the quality of your fighting vindicates my decision to turn you into a dice and try to trap you here for eternity. Congratulations! Gallery